The Problem With #MeToo

Arti Agarwal
5 min readOct 9, 2018
Photo by Zack Greant, via Flickr

If a woman has been sexually molested, it is a problem. But that is only the first problem statement.

What Got Us Here?

An even bigger problem is why she was molested or assaulted, what do we define as sexual misconduct, and how do we know who is speaking the truth?

Why did it take so long for our civilized world to wake up to the reality of this menace which has been scarring the lives of so many women?

Whenever human beings do not address their deep lack of fulfillment, it devours their life in some other way — addiction, sexual depravity, violence, masochism, depression, chronic health disorders, unexplained behavioural issues etc. The list is long. The cause is the same.

A Disjointed Existence, Leading to a Fractured World

Any hurt, longing, pain, needs to be addressed where it started — inside. Whenever, as a society, we fail to find solutions to heal the physical & emotional pain, we find ourselves trapped in one of the cages of modern day existence.

A disjointed way of living, which has no spiritual depth, but treats only symptoms, not the condition, has no other go. All physical unfulfillment and pain develops into an aberration in sexual behaviour. Sexual predators are at one extreme. Deep guilt about sex is the opposite extreme. Both damage the person.

Until the society as a whole starts seeking spiritual solutions, which connects them to their own selves, they will remain this way. And that is the scary part.

The Un-Mysterious Reasons for Lack of Media Attention

It took the world so long to get here for very un-mysterious reasons — it was not allowed to surface.

Numerous cases of pedophilia by Christian pastors have surfaced in just the last 2 years. Nuns from many churches around the globe have lodged complaints against priests. It would not take a great quantum of intelligence to approximate who prevented these cases from becoming public. This kind of predatory behaviour that is not one-off incidents, but an overarching pattern of certain communities, was not available as public information to protect the same group from ignominy.

Similarly, emerging cases of sexual depravity in Bollywood would come as no surprise to anyone who has had a close brush with the popular film-making industry. Yet, none of the issues emerging now ever made an appearance on news channels or newspapers. Why? It is worth mentioning that Bollywood stars earn in high figures.

What About #HimToo?

Yet another problem is, why is the world ignoring the lives of men who have been molested?

Pedophilia is just as common for same sex cases as opposite genders. One would think that this is a common practice only in “developed nations.” Reality doesn’t agree.

I know of multiple cases of men being abused when they were children, all very much in India. I have heard real, true-to-life stories of men being sexually molested, even groped, in public places, and not being able to do anything about it.

The deafening silence on this matter, which is still not a movement, is disturbing.

It suggests that perhaps women have more courage to speak than men.

How Do We Get Them Justice?

It is a challenging task to establish the veracity of any claim. It can only be established on a statistical basis, not on medical basis, in most cases. This is especially true for reports of cases from years, sometimes decades ago. It is almost impossible to ferret out case facts in this case.

This is the same reason why many crooks are using this movement to frame innocent people who they hold a grudge against, or for other ulterior motives, like destroying their public image. This is a harsh reality for many celebrities who have been making a positive contribution to the world. Many Hindu saints fall into this category. They have spoilt the business of many communities, who aim at commercializing the religious space in India, and hence earned the displeasure of the same communities. They have been under continued attack and false allegations from women who are paid hirelings to frame allegations against these saints. They often have no facts to prove their case. But the masses don’t wait for facts.

These cases have made it even more difficult to establish who is genuine and who is operating from vested interests. A daunting task now stands before the courts, of answering these questions —Who is genuine? What is a sufficient punishment?

What About those Who Can’t Hashtag #MeToo

And the last, but perhaps the most important, problem is, what about those women who cannot post on social media, hashtagged #MeToo?

A whopping percentage of sexual molestation, rape and abuse happen in economically or otherwise weaker sections of the society, and are acts of Jihad. These are people who have little economic footprint, have no relevance for the media, and have no digital resources to “tweet” or hashtag on social media. Their stories are the most gory and spine chilling. These are people who were treated worse than animals. Their bodies were violated with the worst form of cruelty. And were then left for dead.

These are stories that live outside of our clean, beautiful lives of internet browsing, and remain hidden forever until someone uncovers them and fights their battle to get them justice. Such people get little of the glamour and limelight that our celebrities do.

There is a #MeToo movement we know of. And another we know nothing of. These are the stories that should never have happened to anyone.

At this point in time, it is not sufficient to just post & read about #MeToo and move on with your life.

It is the time for deep self inquiry. It is the time to ask yourself the question — are you hiding behind a digital mask or are you willing to do something?

For work or collaboration queries, please reach me on arti@artiagarwal.me

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Arti Agarwal

Economics, Design, Sustainability. Author of “Cownomics.” IIT + MIT Alum. Holler at artiagarwal@pm.me